Reflections of a debtor

Let's face it, I knew I was in debt from the first day that I refused to balance my checkbook. In my frazzled state, I figured that if I didn't know I was overdrawn, it didn't exist. Talk about avoidance. I should hold a PHD in the field. The practice of ignoring my checkbook went on for two years. I had many excuses - "I worked too many hours and didn't have time"; "I want to do something else"; "What I don't see doesn't exist".
The statements above would lead one to believe that I am not intelligent - Whoa Nellie! I actually hold a MBA. I know how to do balance sheets, I know how do do spreadsheets, I know how to budget and I know how to balance my checkbook. Reality was, I did work too many hours, but hat neither of us realized for many months is that I was totally "burned" out. Burned out at the job, burned out with the commute, burned out with responsibility of any kind. . . . . . . .

One day I realized that the health issues that I had were caused by stress. I needed to find a job closer to home. I took a temporary position that gave me no responsibilities and it was 10 minutes from home and paid the wage I was making in Corporate America. Instead of the job lasting 6-12 months as advertised it ended in 3 months and I became "non-essential."

Over the last 12 months, I've worked 6. Not good for the pocketbook. Talk about avalanche of the checkbook - dismal is a positive term compared to what was going on. The realization that we are broke was no shocker to either my husband or me. We just weren't aware of how broke we are. I am still not working, but the good thing about this hiatus is that I have mostly recovered from the stress and can now look at our debts in all their sordid cloaks. With the grace of God, we will get out of this. Do I think we will go unscathed? Nope - but we will get there.

The purpose of this blog is to chronicle our rise from the ashes of debt. Today is a new day full of promise. We have creditors hounding our feet - each day is a they just nip our heals. Today I know where our checkbook is - and yes there is not enough money to cover the debt, but we are trying to pay some each month to our creditors. Each day I pray the armor of God around my family to help us cope. With grace, we will survive this.